FairCityNews.com | Oct 10, 2013 | Comments 0
Primary stages of Jacob’s Ladder
Springfield, MO – Attempting to build a direct portal to the heavens, a construction crew on National south of Battlefield is continuing progress to build a ladder to the Almighty’s front door. The project is scheduled to be completed by Christmas and will attain a final height of 500 miles tall.
“So, this is a ladder…to Heaven?” said one passerby while shrugging indifferently, “I’d rather have a tunnel to China, can we work on that next?” Ideally, the stairway will be the number one tourist attraction in Missouri, possibly even the world.
Religious studies professor Hal Prichawk said, “We have seen tribes of followers across the globe flock to holy lands in search of purpose and meaning in their lives. If this ladder is successful, we could see an economic boom to this area like never before. Imagine uniting the Abrahamic religions in one place to ascend the heavenly staircase to ask God endearing and life changing questions together!”
Brittany Longstooth, of Nixa, said, “I’d totally ask Him why Miley is being so weird lately. I love her but she is freaking me out.” “Yes, confounding questions like these could be addressed…” conceded Prichawk.
One ticket to climb the structure is anticipated to cost $1,500 per person and includes oxygen tanks and food for the 3 month journey into space. Rest stations are to be positioned every 5 miles and will included refilling stations, entertainment and sleeping cots for the space pilgrims.
Filed Under: Featured
Source:
http://www.faircitynews.com/2013/10/10/stairway-to-heaven-under-construction/