| If I Said You Had a Nice Body, Would You Hold it Against Me ... Jun 11th 2012, 14:17 
on Jun 11, 2012  Pinterest It's simple. 1. Say hello. 2. Follow it up with your name and something relevant to the current situation and non-cliched. (Please don't resort to the weather. I have a theory about talking about the weather. There are two types of people: people who complain no matter what the weather is and people who love the weather no matter what it is. If you fall into the first category and start a conversation with me about the weather, you might note that I am nodding but my eyes have glazed over and I'm plotting my escape). 3. Do that amazing magical thing that your mom has been telling you to do since you were seven: But if that seems too daunting, you could always do like this guy and resort to song lyrics:  Relephant, hilarious and NSFW bonus: 
Incorrect source, offensive, or found a typo? Or do you want to write for Elephant?
Kate Bartolotta is the strongest girl in the world. She is the love child of a pirate and a roller derby queen. She hails from the second star to the right. She doesn't know how to behave with all the apples and ibexes. She doesn't suffer from her eight million freckles, she loves them! She drinks her lemonade right from the jug. Like a rolling stone, Kate gathers no moss. Kate loves kale, being barefoot, Dr. Seuss, singing too loudly, gallivanting, pallindromes, blackberries, Elvis Presley, magic tricks and (of course) elephants. She has been charged with (and found guilty of) overusing the exclamation point! When she's not writing, you can find her practicing yoga, running in the woods, dancing with her kids, devouring a book, planting dandelions, changing the world and doing her dishes. Kate does not play the accordion. She is on her way to becoming a fabulous massage therapist, an imperfect vegan, a mediocre writer and a compassionate friend to all. This year Kate aspires to finally give up on learning to knit and will instead spend that time writing for elephant journal. Connect with Kate on Facebook and Twitter 1,200,000 readers this month/2,100,000 pages read ~ Google Analytics (real #s, not hype).  | |